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Grief and the Holidays

The holidays are difficult for many of us experiencing grief over the loss of a loved one. Holidays are supposed to be about togetherness. It’s one of the main predictable ways in which we make memories with the people we love and who we are closest to.

Holidays bring up so many emotions and memories centered around our families and friends. Holidays are about celebrating togetherness and the love we have for each other.


But what do we do when the person or people we love are no longer with us? For those of us who’ve experienced the death of a loved one, holidays often are shadowed with sadness. We may not even feel like participating. Or we may feel guilt if we smile, laugh a little or even find ourselves enjoying a brief moment.


As a therapist and a medium, I know there is no easy way out of grief. I know grief is different for each of us. And I know grief shows up in our lives in predictable and unpredictable ways.

People in the spirit world have often told me that they never miss a holiday or a birthday. In readings they have brought up specific details about the holidays even after they passed. I recall one woman in spirit thanking her family for making a place setting for her at the table.


Although our holidays will always be different moving forward (as will our lives), we must remember to take care of ourselves and honor our loved ones and our grief as well.

Here are a few ideas you may want to incorporate into your holidays as you move through this season.


*Light a candle for your loved one. *Make their favorite recipe. *Play a game they loved. *Blog about them. *Make a place setting for them at the table *Share a story about them. *Incorporate them in a prayer.


There are so many ways we can bring them into our holidays. They are already there, but these activities may bring us a sense of closeness to them. It may bring some healing. It may bring a moment of peace and a feeling of togetherness with them.


I wish you all a season of love, and the knowingness that we are only separated in the physical.




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